I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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