I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
