Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
