I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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