I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
