I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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