Will you blow on my dice?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
