just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
