i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
