ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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