So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Couch. On fire.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
