it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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