are you still at the devil's house?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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