No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
