i don't like sucking hair
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
cat food counts as protein by the way
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
