Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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