Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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