i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
