I'm going to jail i love you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
