How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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