My balls are so social today.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
