So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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