the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How's work?
Spinning.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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