Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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