i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
