I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
