Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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