God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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