So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
