Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
