If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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