Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
