i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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