So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
