It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
