thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just forgot I was standing up.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
