is this the sara with the beer cane?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
