Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
