I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I want to fling myself into the sun
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
