Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Farmville is her only friend.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
