i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
