My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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