Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
