i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i drank out of a bidet.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
