My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
