we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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