as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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