my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
