I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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