You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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