I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
