I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
