Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
