whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
