woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The power of my boobs compel you
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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