worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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