I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize