he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have fence marks all over my body
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
