just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
