The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize