Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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