a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
