But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
