i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
