Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize