It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
